yes, but a person who hunts hippos?

I have had a bad week of teaching. One of my classes is turning into demons. They are ridiculous! I do this thing where I try to get everyone to talk, in an orderly fashion, in english. Apparently, Oitava 2 is incapable of such lofty expectations. I had people standing up just to say 'When I grow up, I am going to be a such-n-such.' Well, of course everyone was chatting when students were trying to say what they wanted to be. I tried to remedy the problem by throwing kids out left and right. It got so bad that I threatened the falta collectiva...again. So I gave it...again. They are only allowed 7 absences from school in the year in order to remain in school. And then one kid said 'obrigado!' which means 'thank you!' Once I find out what his number is, he's getting a falta vermelha, which is pretty bad. I was ready to cry at that point but I didn't because you can't lose your cool in front of them. And plus that means they've won. So after class, I marched myself over to the pedagogical director's office and did what any self-respecting, frustrated teacher would do. I tattled on them. I talked to a head teacher and am currently arranging for a mozambican teacher to yell at them. They don't behave like this with mozambican teachers and that's what really frustrates me. Then again, they are usually afraid and timid in front of Mozambican teachers. Mozambican teachers, as a result of being overworked and never taught to make innovative lesson plans, usually just come to school with basic lessons that the students just copy and repeat like robots. If I were a student, I feel like I would appreciate a teacher who actually put effort and thought into lessons. Maybe that's just me. But all I know is that I've never wanted to turn around and flick them all off as much as I did yesterday.

I have been teaching them professions lately and that's been a trip. I gave them a list of possible jobs they might be interested in (electrician, teacher, doctor, nurse, driver, store owner, etc.) and then asked if they had any more titles they wanted to know the english name of.

This is how that conversation went.

Them: 'Pescador!'
Me: Fisherman
Them: 'Camponese!'
Me: Farmer
Them: 'Hippo!'
Me: Huh?
Them: Hippo!
Me: (in Portuguese) That's an animal.
Them: (in Portuguese) Yes, but a person who hunts hippos?
Me: (in Portuguese) You don't even have hippos here.
Them: (Shrug)

And then when I was going around the room and asking each student what they wanted to be, one of my students was just like 'CARRRRRRRRRR!' When I asked him to repeat it, once again, he just went 'CARRRRRRRRRR!' Oh, a driver? Yes. And then when I tried to get him to say 'I want to be a driver' I had to go over it syllable by syllable with him to get him to say it. And even then, he whispered. I dunno about that kid. Every time I look at him, he's picking his nose.



This is the board game that I made for students to practice their english. It has a bunch of Monapo landmarks and is appropriately titled English in Monapo. There's the Monapo Rio, the Mosque and Catholic Church, a herd of goats, women carrying a lot of stuff, a kid rolling a wheel and my personal favorite, a stuffed beyond capacity chapa at the chapa stop. The kids really seem to enjoy it, especially since the game pieces are pieces of candy. The winner takes all.

Here's an example of the bag that my REDES girls are going to start making. We will sell them for 50 MT, which is 2 dollars and then the girls can use 25 MT to buy another meter of material and the other 25 as profit. It sounds like women here will buy these so I'm interested to see where this leads. I am trying to get more and more ideas of things they could make that people here would use and buy.

And I also threw in this random picture of the market in Monapo. It's dead at the time in the photo but come dusk and the fisherman returning from the ocean, you've got yourself one bustling market.

I've got a fever...and the only cure is more duct tape

I have this problem of Timba always jumping on me and then snagging my clothes with his nails. One would think that I would be an expert at patching holes by now, but no. Instead, I've taken a liking to duct-taping my clothes. I feel that there are two plus-sides to duct-taping clothing. First, it mends the problem (no longer exposing any thigh in a culture where that's unacceptable unless you're a lady of the night) and second, it gives you that ragged, rugged look that screams 'Don't ask me for money! Look, tape is holding my clothes together!' I also don't wash my tennis shoes for the reason that I'll get asked for them and they're brown. Effective, yet brown.

I have been going jogging with Timba every morning lately. Know what's crazier than seeing a white person around here? Seeing a white person running with a dog on a leash. When people see me approaching, they stop what they're doing, face me completely and stare, mouths open. When I see children doing it, I stare back at them with my mouth open and that usually gets them to laugh. I can hear them saying things in Makua but I have my iPod on so it drowns out their comments and laugher; not to mention, my out-of-shape gasping for breath. Mozambicans love it when I punish my dog too. He does his jump and leap against me and I'm trying to break this clothes-destroying habit of his, so I knee him. Hard. He usually falls down in a pile on the ground and learns his lesson for about a minute. I did this yesterday morning and a man was laughing so hard!

This morning, I was walking back toward our house when all of a sudden a gang of dogs from a house came up on Timba and me. They were all growling at him and seemed ready to rumble, drawing a crowd of Mozambicans who stood there, just watching. I picked Timba up so they wouldn't try to fight him and kept walking. At that moment, I found out what was funnier than a white girl running with a dog on a leash. A white girl carrying a dog. They started laughing SO hard. I felt like the Paris Hilton of Monapo. I really want to take the dog to the market one day, wrapped across my back like a small child in a capulana, to see how everyone reacts to it. I already tell students that he's my son.

Students here believe anything you tell them. Nia told a bunch of students Arnold Schwarzenegger is her uncle and is coming to visit next year. Apparently, they got pretty excited. I told some students that Jean Claude Van Damme is my embrigado and it took 'em a minute to process what I'd said. Nia and I got a few students to believe that white people only bathe once a month. They're extremely gullible, which makes it fun to play with their minds sometimes. One student always draws pictures for Nia. He's pretty good at drawing and he came to the house the other day with a picture of me with Timba. He drew me with cut-off jean shorts, a catana (a sharp sword-like knife) and what appeared to be a powdered wig on. All that was missing what a coonskin cap and a burned out trailer behind me. Needless to say, he captured me perfectly.

I have had SO many people ask me lately why I'm not married. They are like 'how old are you?' When I tell them I'm 24, they don't believe me and think I'm older. 'But you are tall!' Tall equals old here. I have no idea where they got that from. I tell them I don't plan on getting married or having kids for a long time and that completely rocks their world. Why would someone DO that? When they ask me why I'm not married, I tell them a husband equals more problems. It's actually partially true if you think about it. I was reading a Reader's Digest my dad sent me and there was a fact in there from the University of Michigan that said that a husband creates seven more hours of housework for a wife each week. No, thank you.

I bought capulanas (the traditional cloth for women in Mozambique) for my REDES girls for a solidarity thing. They were pretty fond of the idea and when we walked out in the community with them on, everyone got really curious about what we were doing. We went to the market to buy more capulanas to start making more things to sell. They're pretty stoked about that idea. There's such a lack of innovation here and I would love to get them thinking of things they could make here that people would be interested in buying - something that doesn't already exist in seven other stores. My dream or big goal is to get them creating items that produce income and something that can provide money for them to continue their education or at least lead good lives. It's so hard to get them to think of new things! That's one of my biggest challenges with teaching and being a leader of this girls' group.

That's it for this week. I'll end on this quote I read in that Reader's Digest my dad sent and it gave me a chuckle.

'At what age do you think they tell a highway it's adopted?' - Zach Galifianakis

sticky fingers

And so it has begun - the final trimester of the year. I started off on a bit of a sour note with one of my turmas yesterday. I had made these verb strips for them to find the other people in their verb groups and at the end of the activity, four verb strips were missing. We have a problem here of people just taking things because they can. It's not even something that's worth anything - I mean, who wants a piece of paper that just says 'sat' on it? Not I. So after asking and asking and asking for the 4 missing strips of paper, no one was turning it in. It's not that I was upset about losing the paper, but that these kids don't have respect for the material and have no problem with dishonesty. The chefe of the turma started walking around and searching people's bags for the strips but nothing turned up. I even threatened a falta vermelha (the worst kind of indisciplinado there is - even written in, gasp, red pen) and then a falta collectiva (the whole class is considered absent) but no one fessed up. So I gave them a falta collectiva. One girl finally gave up a verb strip. I was just going to let it slide without a fuss but then I saw her laughing about it. That's when I told her to get out, throwing her notebooks out the door in front of her. It's so frustrating. I was talking to students about it and I told them that if one person takes things that aren't theirs, they are slowing the development and achievements of other people as well. That turma has a lesson on corruption coming their way that involves beans.

Otherwise, my time in Maputo was just what I needed. Maputo was brilliant. I got to eat a lot of junk food and watch a movie in a theater. My portuguese is suffering as a result now. I basically only spoke in english for an entire week, being around only americans. So now I stumble when I talk and get weird looks from my students. Oh well. It'll come back around.

I got a bunch of ideas for my REDES group during the meeting. We are going to learn how to open a bank account this next week. I'm also trying to organize for a local female doctor to come to talk to them and possibly do some HIV testing. I'm also excited to start planning the northern regional conference for next April. I think I may already have one facilitator lined up and a possible counterpart for here in Monapo. She's a primary school teacher with an embroidering group and it'd be a good way to get my older girls working with younger girls. For the conference, it'd be wonderful to find a woman who works at the university to come and talk to the girls about their options. This will require some more investigation on my part too. So many possibilities!

shredded lettuce, but not the fancy kind in the bag

I think our DVD player is now broken...and so is my heart. Maybe it's a good thing that it broke because it forces me to read more. It's nice at the end of the day to sit down and numb my mind for a couple hours. I'm not going to lie.

My friend and I were just on Ilha for a few days, visiting with three other volunteers. It was a good time all around, full of pasta salad, hummus, fried calamari and real coffee. Whenever I have access to nicer food, I never know how to pace myself and then I regret it about two hours later. I was in a permanent state of fullness all weekend and I didn't know how to handle it. Food and I have a turbulent relationship at times these days. I am pretty fond of Ilha though. The dusty ancient streets, the beautiful capulanas and the history. I want to buy a book on the old slave trade from Nampula's coast from an Ilha bookstore when I have enough money.

Timba stayed in Monapo, of course. I left him under the care of our embrigada and she does a pretty good job with him. I usually will give her extra money - half beforehand and half afterwards when I come back and he has a pulse. The funny part is that I walked into the kitchen and our fridge was completely empty and open. While I was gone, he had succeeded in opening the fridge and pulling out all of its contents, strewing them across the kitchen floor. My embrigada explained it all to me this morning with a lot of sighing and eye-rolling. I guess he got into some jam, shredded up some lettuce and chewed the end off of a spoon. He's got mad skills when it comes to destruction. I am not looking forward to the state of our kitchen when I return from Maputo.

We also talked with the school to have a guard watch our house at night while we are away. We have iron bars on our windows and doors but that doesn't automatically make them give up. I talked with the guard last night and it is funny how he started out the conversation with 'I slept here the other night.' He didn't even say 'I was the guard here the other night.' He's not as snazzy as our last guard. He doesn't have a slingshot. Oh well, we'll take him. Usually, as long as someone is present, no one will mess with the house. I don't tell anyone I'm leaving because then word spreads and everyone knows no one is home. I am telling everyone that I'm staying for all of break but I'll leave at 5 tomorrow morning when it's still dark and no one sees me. Very cloak of darkness and everything but it's the best deterent for theft.

I am heading down to Maputo tomorrow for our REDES planning meeting and I come back on Sunday. REDES is our girls' group that a bunch of PCVs and counterparts have across the nation. We are planning for next year's conference and what that holds in store. I think we are still uncertain as to whether it will be three separate regional conferences (south, central, north) or one main, national conference. They both have pros and cons in terms of transportation, cost and planning. It'll be nice to hear what other groups are doing to get more ideas for my girls and to see friends from other provinces. Another plus is that it is in Maputo, the land of western food options, so my turbulent relationship with food is likely to continue on through the week.

School starts on Monday and I have yet to plan out what the last trimester holds in store. I have a feeling it will fly by, much like the two other trimesters. School will be done by the end of October and then break is until the beginning of February. I'll be back in the states for a visit for all of December and a little bit of January - something I'm extremely excited about and look forward to. That's only a little over four months away now. This month is our tenth month in Mozambique and it's gone by quickly. I'll be home in no time to rejuvenate for my second year. I already have a list of food I plan to eat. The first on my list is, of course, cheese curds.

Pictures! Pictures! Pictures!

I love this picture. My students saw I had the camera and they were like 'take our picture!' and then immediately hopped on a teacher's bike and put on sunglasses. The boy in the front is holding up a plastic rose. They look like a boyband.

Here's Timba - the devil incarnate, striking fear into the hearts of Mozambicans everywhere.

Me and the REDES girls in front of our display in the library. They designed what they wanted to be after school and behind them, the sign says 'I am a girl. My future is bright!'

Girls in my REDES group working on their embroidering.

A small group of my students during supermodel documentary hour. They love posing for the camera.

The REDES conference in Chimoio last April. It was a lot of fun and gave girls from all over Mozambique a chance to meet each other and learn about different things, such as health, women's rights, income-producing projects and an opportunity to take part in fun activities.

Our house in Monapo. It's pretty comfortable and 80% cement, 20% zinc roof and 100% awesome (which I suppose equals 200% but I'm no math teacher). Makes it difficult to hear when it rains though. We have our two bedrooms on the left side of the house and then the front porch, kitchen and backroom on the right-hand side. We have a fence surrounding our house, giving us some privacy. Our yard can get very matu (bush) pretty quickly.

And I promise to add more soon! Best wishes to everyone!

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed

I have had several people ask me if there is anything that I could really use here, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to blog about it. Why not. Can't hurt.

We could use:
- old reading glasses (people can't afford them but need them here - some students can't see the board)
- school backpacks
- ESL workbooks, simple english books
- small, simple calculators
- dictionaries (portuguese-english, english-portuguese)
- rulers (kids here, if they have them, don't leave home without them because goodness knows what will happen if you actually freehand something)
- construction paper or colorful paper (hard to come by here)
- watercolor sets
- sewing and embroidery materials (hoops, thread, sequins, beads, ribbon, buttons - you name it, my REDES group will use it)
- learn to draw or watercolor books for Nia's art group
- patterns for basic clothing for young adults
- baseball hats (it's a hot hot sun out there)
- scissors (quality hard to come by, for the REDES group)
- thick crayola markers (good for visual aids for classroom materials and for group projects - the kids love it)
- colorful yarn
- jigsaw puzzles
- stamps and ink pads (saves on the use of stickers and a good way of marking if people did their homework or not)
- index cards

Now that school supply season is quickly approaching in the US, many of these supplies are much cheaper than usual. A lot of this stuff is hard to come by and when you do find it, it is poor quality.

My address is:

Erin Lynum, PCV
Corpo da Paz
Rua dos Continuadores No. 24-A
Caixa Postal 526
Cidade de Nampula, Nampula
Mocambique

If you do send anything, you can disguise it from people who like to steal packages by putting 'Jesus saves!' or some religious stickers on it. People don't usually mess with religious things.

Any supplies would be appreciated! So if you are stopping by garage sales this summer, keep an eye out for me! Thank you so much!

Trickle, Trickle, Trickle

The ACPs have come and gone now. I controled eighth grade and tenth grade exams and I was harsh - and I liked it. I got boos and hisses when I walked into the room and it thrilled me. That means I am doing something right. They even tried to complain to their teacher about me and he backed me up. Suckers. They think they can get around my method of controling tests but I try to beat them at their own game. It´s gotten to the point where I write down their name if they are caught cheating so they can´t just throw away the copy I wrote that they cheated on and write out a new test. They are so sly though. They won´t write down their names until after they are done with the test and I haven´t caught them. Do you know how hard it is to try and pry a kid´s name out of him when he knows you are just going to give him a zero? When he waits for about fifteen seconds with a pen to his lips in deep thought and then writes, you are going to second-guess whether Espacio Vicente is his real name. So I had to keep an even closer eye on those young´ns and it just drains you. After an afternoon of watching to see if anyone had anything up their sleeve or were sitting on their notebooks, I was ready to pull out the old dentures and call er a night at seven o´clock.

It was a great weekend though, I must say. Nia and I went with our Zimbabwean friends to Chocas Mar, a beautiful beach north of Ilha de Mocambique for one of their birthdays. It was so much fun and so beautiful. After a stressful week of controling and grading in Monapo, it was great to kick back, play a rousing game of musical chairs and go swimming in the ocean. We swear we saw some big fish or dolphins jumping in the water. There is such a variety of seafood here and I never realized how much I like it until now. I love calamari and shrimp and depending on how it´s prepared, fish. There´s such an abundance here and you might as well eat it to get your protein for the day. And there was chocolate cake with pudding. I ate my weight in it, needless to say.

This week is the Mozambican Independence Day. Tomorrow to be exact. I doubt there are fireworks or barbeques but it promises to be interesting. It seems like on every national holiday there is always some group of people riding around on the back of a truck, singing loudly. It´s always interesting to see. I never was a big fourth of July person in the states but now that I don´t have it, I miss it. There won´t be corn on the cob or fireworks. Kind of sad but I´ll cope somehow. Maybe I´ll go gnaw on a piece of sugar cane or something. They always cancel everything when there is a holiday even somewhat close. For example, today we didn´t have school because there was a ceremony of some kind. Tomorrow we have no school and we aren´t banking much on thursday or friday either. You can pretty much call the whole week a bust in the work department. Oh well. You get used to it.

Something creepy happened to Nia and I when we were walking home from the market the other day. It was dark out except for the light of the moon and a streetlight. We were approaching the fence of our house and we could clearly see our own shadows on the fence as we were walking toward it. To the left, we suddenly could see the shadow of a child running quickly past us but when we turned to look, no one was there. Nia saw it too and there was no one around us. We freaked ourselves out a bit and then went into the house. While we were sitting at the table eating dinner, we heard a scratching at the door. We asked our embrigada about ghosts and she said that they exist and she wouldn´t be surprised because other neighborhoods around here have reports of them. And apparently we live really close to a cemetary. A student told me that when thieves in the jail die, they just bury them right behind the jail, which we live right next to. Creepy. The kid could be lying too. Who knows. I do know that I believe in ghosts though and it was an interesting encounter if you could call it that.

Nia and Timba still hate each other. My dog is the bain of her existence. I think they thrive off of each other´s negative energy. I guess that last night Nia couldn´t sleep because it was her night to take her larium medication. Well, it was about midnight and she heard a "trickle, trickle, trickle." She looked over at her bedroom door and saw a steady stream of urine seeping under it. My dog purposely urinates on her door at night, even though my door is closer and he has a large circumference with his leash length to reach a large portion of the kitchen. And he definitely smiles as he does it. I can´t help but laugh at it. He seems to enjoy taunting her and it´s pretty genius for a 6-month old dog. He´s not as stupid as he looks. I would call it a love-hate relationship between those two but it is definitely a hate-hate. I keep trying to reassure her that he will eventually improve. He doesn´t behave like that towards me. I think they need counseling. Where´s Dr. Phil when you need him?